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Since you already have a 529 set-up, have you ever thought about the Upromise program. I don't know much about it, but it's like earning credit card points toward their college education. Just a thought...
themselves and I could never even think asking them to fund my education even if they had the money. With that being said, I do take on the brunt of the expenses myself. After accruing more than $15,000 of debt my freshmen year at a private institution I realized that is not acceptable even with the substantial amount aid I received. It forced me to get in the financial aid office and look for ways to pay for it all. After two monthes of hard work in and out of the classroom ( I spent about 15 hours a week with a very helpful staff) I was able to get my sophomore year fully covered. As a junior now, it is a snap to get the proper funds to cover all my education.
I think that you are doing your kids a favor by not paying for their education. The experience and skills they develop by having to work their way through college are invaluable. Rather than sitting around in a dorm drinking cheap vodka and chasing tail, they are developing as a person; learning how they world works.
It is difficult at times, sometimes I do wish I had a nice little fund to tap into when money gets a little thin. It can be hard to find personal time when you are balancing a 23 credit course load ( math and bio majors), a girlfriend, jobs (I know plural which sucks) and family. Vacations have to be well utilized to remain sane, but It can be done. In the end it is worth it. I find that the most capable of my peers are the ones that also have pay their way through as well. They have the efficient study habits, time management, and people skills that will ensure their success in the future.
I wish you the best of luck - but it doesn't sound like you're going to need luck!
As with so many other subjects, educating children is a topic on which I have strong opinions. Personally, I feel it is my moral imperative to send my children to college. A free ride? No. A good start in life? Yes.
My husband sent all three of his adult children to college, full ride, for their under-graduate degrees. All three went on to earn advanced degrees on their own -- one son has his PhD, another son a Master's, and the daughter, who earned a double major, went on to earn two Master's degrees. He was clear with them -- they could go to anywhere they wanted to ... as long as it was an in-state public school. Each one graduated without any student loans and all were given the used car they'd been driving to boot. I admire and respect my husband's dedication to his children. To me, he has his priorities in order. The valuation of education is something he learned from his parents -- both of whom came from humble beginnings and worked hard to better themselves. My FIL did not provide a college education for his son -- he was very young and was still trying to put himself through college when my husband graduated from high school a year early. My husband tried college, couldn't afford it, joined the Army, served his time, and finally went to school on the GI bill.
My own father, in contrast, didn't even stick around to raise us, much less see to our educations. I do not have a degree -- many, many credit under my belt and I paid for every single penny of them but no degree. Someday I'd love to go back to school. But not until my own children's college educations are provided for. I had my chance, now it's their turn.
What I really wanted to say, though, is how surprised and pleased I was to read of your interest in Waldorf education. My connections to Waldorf Ed go way back to my youth. My two younger siblings attended a Waldorf school for several years and now my daughter attends a Waldorf high school. I homeschooled both of my children using strongly Waldorf-inspired methods/ideals. The quality of education my daughter is receiving in high school far exceeds anything we could have hoped for in the local public high school.
If our economic situation remains stable, my children will mostly not qualify for any type of financial aid but I have high hopes that there will be scholarships available to them. It is our full intention to pay the balance as well as living expenses and books.
I can think of no more lasting or loving gift to my children than to have raised them in a loving and nourishing environment and then to send them out into the world with an undergraduate degree, no debts, and a dependable used car.
Someday I will write a rebuttal of my own to this whole idea. :)
Thanks for being a great kid! Start adulthood with tens of thousands in debt, I did it, it builds character, having that hang over you the next 15-20 years. ;)
Financial aid programs look at the income of the parents not the child when deciding on aid. The fact you make a lot handicaps your child in the world of financial aid. Sure, I got tons of need-based academic scholarships. I can send my kids to Stanford now for free if they got in. But you can't ;)
I had a great time in college. I chose a less-expensive school to attend, had good scholarships and joined a fraternity and played varsity sports, as well. I graduated with honors, and I have never regretted attending a public school on full scholarships rather than mortgaging my future (either through a miserable college experience or massive student loans) to attend an Ivy - nor would I think that advice would change.
I would certainly agree with you that nobody should take their advice from an online forum or blog or anything like that! I'm just trying to start thought processes. You have to make your own decisions about life.
I am the oldest of 3, and I always knew that (1) I was expected to go to college and (2) I was expected to earn scholarship money if I wanted to go to a non-state school and that (3) My parents would help me out with living expenses if needed. I chose a private school (graduating in 2003), and had full tuition paid with a partial Air Force ROTC scholarship and partial Leadership scholarship at the school. My parents paid most of my housing expenses, and I had a part time campus job to pay for the extras. My parents moved to Georgia when my sister was nearing HS graduation... so she could go to college totally free (all high schoolers with B average can go on hope scholarship to state school). My younger brother followed the same route as me (private school and ROTC scholarship), graduating in 2006 and is now in dental school.
I do think it is fair to expect your children to "earn" all or part of their college tuition (through scholarships, loans, jobs, etc). However, I think it is also important to be willing to help them out with money to make up the difference. I had a friend in college who had a very wealthy father who wanted him to "learn to be tough" and pay for college himself. As mentioned before, the financial aid is contingent on the parent's salary, so this dad who refused to have anything to do with paying for college penalized his son. This created all sorts of bitterness between them, which still exists to this day. The friend got himself through Physical Therapy school, but is now saddled with huge debts and lots of anger.
I don't think parents can really say "you are expected to go to college" and then say, even though I've supported you for the past 18 years, you're totally on your own for college. That doesn't seem to backup the assertation that college is important. So I think its a balance.
Anyway. Just some thoughts.
I think we're on the same page - thanks for sharing your story that shows that people can take responsibility and pay for their own education if it's what THEY want and value, not just something their parents hand them!
Just came across your website, enjoy reading it. I have been kind of wrestling with this question myself. I have two sons, with my oldest one, even though things were tough, we managed to put away some money for his college education. He's been out of high school for a year, he's gone through 4K of money ( going to a JC) and has'nt accomplished anything!!. He drops out of classes etc. At this point, I am starting to feel like he does'nt appreciate this money at all. My wife says that he will come around, but, I am not so sure. We also have a 529 for my younger son, and honestly with the way things are going in this economy. I sometimes wonder if the money would not be better spent either pre-paying our mortgage, or contributing to a Roth IRA.. Is anyone else out there having to make decisions like this, if so, I would like to know some of the pros and cons of each alternative.
As someone who just graduated college two months ago, I feel the need to make a few points.
To the side that believes in free rides:
First: college is not for "finding out who you are", "having fun", partying or any of those other things. Do that and then go to college. You'll save yourself a lot of money. College is for getting a degree. It's a privilege, not a right.
Second: working 20 hours a week and carrying a full course load being unrealistic? Huh, I'm pretty sure I did exactly that. I graduated with a 3.7 gpa and about 15k in student debt. None of the debt was for living expenses, just tuition. I would have owed less if I had been more focused on getting my degree in the beginning. My last year of school I didn't work at all because I had saved enough that I didn't need to.
Third: Ivy league only matters in certain careers (law, politics, etc). I went to a state school and I'm making damn good money for my area straight out of college. Experience = money, not Ivy league. And anyway, if you're making so much more, you can afford a few more loans, right?
And to the other side
If you're well off and can contribute....
Have you heard of the EFC? Expected Family Contribution? It'd be really nice if you'd all kick that in. That pretty much levels the playing field. Depending on how well off you are, it can make it significantly more difficult to go to school. If I ever become very wealthy (and I plan to) I shall create a grant that kicks in the EFC for students that are putting themselves through school on their own.
If you're not wealthy.....
Let your kid live at home if he wants (and goes to a local). It doesn't cost you nearly as much to support them as it would for them to live elsewhere. Also nothing wrong with 'renting' their room and having them help with groceries if money is really tight. It's still a better deal for them.
All that said, I started a 529 plan for my nephew. At the rate his mother spends money, I doubt they'll have the cash to help him out at all. I contribute some money each time there is a gift giving occasion for him. It's a gift for him from his sensible aunt. His grandmother (my mother) also contributes when she can.
I put my self through college, and now that I am on the other side of the lectern, I think it was one of the best gifts my parents ever gave me.
The Entrepreneur route id more effective, however school does not hurt.
It more important to teach my kids about money, credt and investing more than go to college
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However, i do strongly disagree with the statement you made about "hopefully never being a burden to him" in your conclusion. Paying for your childs education at any level, should never feel like a burden. When the financial websites list their "key areas", one of them will always be "making investments". When you pay for your childs education, you are MAKING AN INVESTMENT IN YOUR CHILD to help them in creating a better future for themselves.