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brip blap

life, family, the world, wealthbuilding and the pursuit of happiness
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learning how to let go

Started by bripblap · 3 months ago

When you look at a mug, do you see a mug? Or do you see a gift from grandma, a souvenir from that charming bistro in Paris, the cup that your daughter used for her hot chocolate when she was little? Whether you see just a mug or an object that emits memories [...] ... Continue reading »

26 comments

  • guinness416

    10 months ago

    I highly recommend relocations like spending summers abroad or moving country a few times to knock the idea that you "need" all your crap around you all the time out of you entirely. "Four Hour Work Week" has a good section on this, if I remember correctly.
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  • Bouncing Betty

    10 months ago

    A few years ago a freind of mine as an executor of an estate of a couple who passed away (no kids, very few relatives). We went to clean out the house and it tooks us a couple weeks to sort through all the things they had, books, knick nacks, photos, mugs, etc. I went home that very weekend and threw out/donated 4 large bags of things I did not use, want or love.

    The hard part is most of us have too much emotionally invested in our possessions. I'm having a hard time with my latest round of de-clutter (and surprisingly with kitchen items.) My ex and I really used to enjoy cooking and for me getting rid of the excess kitchen items has been hard. I realized that even though the ex and I have been apart for a number of years, this was my last real connection (and a happy one) to him. Once I realized this was fairly (no really) creepy, I've had an easier time paring down my kitchen clutter. I don't have 16 coffee mugs, but I do have about 10. And I do serve myself a decent Sunday Lunch once a month complete with silver serving dishes.
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  • Elizabeth

    10 months ago

    Excellent post, brip brap. I "know" all of this and yet I struggle with letting go. For me a huge part is remembering how much I spent on an item. I think that's at least mildly sick. I'm determined to pare down this year! I got rid of my first two bags of stuff to the DAV just this morning.
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  • Elizabeth

    10 months ago

    Sorry about the typo -- in your "name" no less :-( I'm desperately foggy this morning and maybe should stick just to reading, huh?
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  • Free From Broke

    10 months ago

    This strikes home for me. I am such a pack rat! My wife is the opposite and she's the reason we have any space in the home. I've been trying to make a conscious effort to like at what's accumulated around me and see what I really need and let go of the rest.

    Thanks for the tips!
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  • Mark from Smart Money & Mo

    10 months ago

    Agree with you 100% on this topic. Don't buy frivolous stuff, use what you have and get rid of is when you don't need it.
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  • deepali

    10 months ago

    I am a packrat, but I'm not attached to anything. I'm just too lazy to clean. :)
    My biggest issue, though, is that I can't just throw anything away - I hate waste. So I have to find some place to donate the item (and contrary to popular belief, Goodwill doesn't want all your crap), and finding the time to do that is tough.
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  • Asithi from Small Steps to Hea

    10 months ago

    When my husband and I used to travel, we would buy all kinds of survivors and knickknacks to bring home to remind us of our happy trip. The last time we moved, we have to toss out boxes of museums ticket stubs, shell necklaces, coconut wind chimes, etc. All the small cluttery stuff that does not improve your mood on a regular basis. Since then, we made a pact to buy only one item that we can display each time we travel, but we can take as many digital pictures as we want. That has been working out well for us so far.
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  • Steve (Brip Blap)

    10 months ago

    @Guinness416: You couldn't be more correct. When I moved to Russia I got rid of everything except my clothes and a futon and my computer desk and my bed. All the junk disappeared. I can't recommend the 4HWW yet. Despite reading Tim's blog I may be one of only 3 people blogging who have not read his book.

    @Bouncing Betty: Absolutely right. The sentimental attachment doesn't even have to be positive to make it hard to get rid of stuff. Seeing an estate is always chilling - you see so much junk. When my wife and I were idly looking for a new condo a few years ago we looked at one estate sale that hadn't been cleaned up yet. That prompted us to launch into a decluttering when we got home. And 10 mugs are OK if you think it's OK :) I was thinking of my house; we have a seemingly endless collection - and it's mostly my fault!

    @Elizabeth: Yeah, remembering the original cost is a big hangup. I think (I'm not 100% sure) there's a term for this - sunk cost. If you go see a movie, you won't walk out midway even if you hate it because you've already paid for it. The same thing happens (sorry to beat up on this one thing) with coffee mugs. "I can't throw 8 of my 24 mugs out! Each one cost at least $2!!!" I do this ALL the time, too. ALL the time. Ask Bubelah.

    Oh, and don't worry about misspelling brip blap - you are not the first! Now if you mispelled Steve then we'd have to have words... :)
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  • Steve (Brip Blap)

    10 months ago

    @FFB: That's good that your wife isn't a pack rat. My wife and I are both pack rats about some things and not about others - but complete different things, so the net result is I want to throw out her packrat items and she wants to throw out mine. We compromise by throwing out mine (just kidding, Bubelah!!)

    @Mark: Not buying junk in the first place is far and away the easiest way to declutter, but it's a hard mindset to stay in.

    @deepali: I know what you mean. We have a huge 32" TV (analog) that we use maybe 1 time per month (it's in the basement). I have tried to sell it, to give it away and even donate it. I haven't tried one last service that might take it, but if they don't I may end up leaving it next to a dumpster. I hate to do it but nowadays with flatscreen TVs nobody wants a 400 pound TV. I hate thinking of throwing anything away, but sometimes it may be necessary. I will say that the Salvation Army will take just about everything, at least where I live.

    @Asithi: I love the idea of saying it has to be something that can be displayed at least! I do like buying a refrigerator magnet since we see that all the time. Digital pictures are great, too - I love watching vacation pictures as a screensaver on our laptop. We see those every day. If we had a picture album we'd drag it out once a year (if that).
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  • deepali

    10 months ago

    One thing that tends to work here - putting items on the sidewalk for people to take. I live in the city and there is some lower-income housing not so far away, so things tend to get taken rather quickly. And yet for some reason, I still can't be bothered to get rid of anything. :)
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  • dwr

    10 months ago

    Have you seen what Star Wars cards in excellent condition fetch on eBay? If you're going to throw them out, let me know when so I can fish them out of your trash can.
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  • Mrs. Micah

    10 months ago

    I particularly like part 1 #2. If it's in a box then unless you're thinking about it all the time you probably don't need it. (I do have some things in boxes which never got unpacked after the move and which I've been trying to locate...but I think about them a lot.)
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  • FourPillars

    10 months ago

    Great post.

    I really like #3 (take a picture).

    As for your old tv, I remember putting my old crt computer monitor out to the curb a couple of years ago with a note on it saying "it works"...no luck.

    Mike
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  • Mrs Pillars

    10 months ago

    Excellent advice. Now we just have to follow it.
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  • Personal Loan Portfolio

    10 months ago

    I was reading through your article intently since I have been concerned about the growth of junk my garage and office. The Matryoshka doll picture caught me off guard. I too lived in Russia for a few years. I was there just a few weeks ago for the holidays. And for the record, I have only one matryoshka doll set. :)
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  • Patrick

    10 months ago

    Steve, great article. I struggle with this all the time, but my wife is almost the opposite. I actually have it in my goals this year to clean things out and enjoy less clutter. I know I will feel much better about everything in the long run. Sell it, donate it, or trash it. I know I will feel better about walking into my basement and being able to find what I need, when I need it.
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  • Steve (Brip Blap)

    10 months ago

    @deepali: Yeah, leaving stuff out usually works in most places, although I feel bad about "littering." I used to live in a place where there were a lot of homeless people around (Giuliani didn't incarcerate ALL of them) and I would leave my old clothes or coats or shoes (all washed and in decent shape) folded up next to our building. They would be gone in 10 minutes every time.

    @dwr: I think the key phrase is "excellent condition" - I am fairly sure having childlike handwriting all over the back of your card like "Han is cool!" or "This is Steve's card you stole it give it back" probably makes it slightly less valuable :)

    @Mrs. Micah: Again, sadly, one of my biggest problems. I have carted stuff with me in boxes for decades...

    @Mr. and Mrs. Four Pillars: Mike, old CRTs are funny - they still show a picture, they still work fine with today's computers, and you can't PAY people to take them away. I never have understood why people detest old computer equipment so much!

    @PLP: You were stronger-willed than I was, then! After I found a guy in Moscow's Izmailovsky Park market who could paint football matryoshkas I was sunk - but I do love my Otto Graham/Bernie Kosar/Brian Sipe/Jim Brown Cleveland Browns matroshka!

    @Patrick: I finally managed to get all of the spare lightbulbs we have in one place in the garage (before we had a few in the kitchen cabinets, a couple in the bathroom medicine cabinet, one in my bedside table, etc.) and just knowing "hey, that's where light bulbs are" was a great feeling. Now if I can just replicate that for my computer wires/parts....
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  • SavingDiva

    10 months ago

    I think letting go is difficult for everyone. I'm having an easier time ridding my life of clutter right now. I find that when I'm happy, it's easier to get rid of an item I acquired when I was happy in the past. Right now, I'm trying to simplify my life by getting rid of clothes and accessories that I don't like and don't fit. My style has changed a lot in the past few years, and I need a wardrobe that reflects my current style. It difficult because some of the items still fit, but I haven't worn them in years!

    Thanks for a great post! And thanks for the great advice on the tipping situation!
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  • plonkee

    10 months ago

    I would say that it's ok to leave stuff for another time. Once you've done one pass of decluttering, you'll be amazed what you can get rid of the second and subsequent times.
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  • Melissa @ A Penny Closer

    10 months ago

    This is a great article! I'm about to go through several boxes of "sentimental" clothes from high school that I have been keeping for some reason. I haven't even opened the boxes in years. This is good inspiration for me to donate it all. Thanks!
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  • DivaJean

    10 months ago

    I subscribe to FlyLady online. She is having a Fling Boogie extravaganza this month- tracking reported weights of all the stuff people get rid of. Anyone here who is decluttering might want to add on to the sheer numbers of it all.
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  • Steve (Brip Blap)

    10 months ago

    @Melissa: I had a similar experience getting rid of a lot of my fraternity stuff - I hated to, but I realized that a man in his late 30s wearing frat gear would just be sad. Doesn't mean it's not tough to get rid of it.

    @DivaJean: I have heard of FlyLady but I haven't checked out her site more than in passing - but thanks for the reminder, I'll look at it more closely now that you remind me of it!
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  • Blubba

    10 months ago

    Thanks for the great post. It's something Mrs. Blubba and I constantly struggle with.
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  • DivaJean

    10 months ago

    Just wanted to post the funniest thing I ever got rid of in a decluttering binge-- a box of "momentos" from my childhood. In the box were things like- a shred of my blanket binky, notebooks from junior high, and best of all- a diary from 9th grade. I always joke that all my boyfriends have turned out to be gay (not really true- just seems so)- but this diary underlined some of my own naivete! One entry talks about how my "true love" (then) told me that he would love me as much as he could- but that would never be as much as he loved Barbra Streisand!! I know- a stereotype- but there's a grain of truth there!! LOL! All of it went into the GARBAGE. I don't need reminders of how dumb I was.
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  • Steve (Brip Blap)

    10 months ago

    @DivaJean: Ouch! That's a good example of not keeping around the sweet-but-not-very-helpful reminders! But I definitely agree that those reminders aren't going to be happy reminders, no matter how long you keep them...
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