We have this in my family. My dad's parents chose to retire back to the place that they are originally from, which is a long way from where my dad (an only child) lives. I know that either of them would hate to leave their house, but also that it's unlikely to be practical or enjoyable for my dad to move there to look after them.
In this case, I'm mean. They chose to move there, knowing that this scenario was and is a possibility. I think that they should have to put up with whatever works best for everyone, not just them.
I don't think you have any obligation to introduce your kids to the religion etc of your childhood, but I think lots of people do it because they think it will be good for the child.
Fecundity
· 2 years ago
Interesting post on an interesting concept. I'd never really thought about the possible 'pay it forward' aspects of one generations generosity (or lack thereof) on things like an education and cars.
I think you are responsible to give your children the best leg-up in the world that you can. If you feel that paying for education is the best way to do that (and can afford to), go for it. If you think having them be responsible for paying for their own education to instill certain values is the best way forward, go for that.
We have every intention of saving for our child(ren)'s education, but also the intent to instill in them the need for them to save as well. Maybe we'll give only a certain amount a year. Or maybe we'll cover rent and tuition and things like books and hydro will be up to them. Whatever plan we come up with, it'll be intended to raise financially-savvy kids who aren't saddled with a ton of debt right out of the gate.
Maybe just a smidge of it so they can feel good about getting rid of it, though.
I'm thinking if they want a car, they can work for it. But maybe I'm just reflecting what I was told when I wanted one as a teenager.
As for the religion question, let's just say I'm expecting at least one knock-down, drag-out fight (figuratively, of course...at least, I hope so) with my mother when the subject comes up. I suspect that the neighbours may set up lawn chairs and make popcorn for the show.
Dee
· 2 years ago
Good post. I was thinking about this the other day, especially in regard to where people choose to live. I think it's unfair when family members call other relatives who move away "selfish" because they don't live where everyone else lives. I don't feel an obligation to live somewhere just because that's where everyone else does.
I'm in my early 20s and I think my generation is a lot less tied to tradition than previous generations. Whereas older individuals do things because that's how things are done, my generation asks why? and when we don't find a suitable answer, we do our own thing.
Emma
· 2 years ago
Sometimes I worry about my aging parents. Being 1st generation immigrants, my parents likes living in Chinese communities in the Bay Area. So it makes me feel like I am tied to this state even though I know of other cheaper and better quality of life locations outside of CA. But if I do not stay close enough, I am worry that others will take advantage of them.
All Comments
In this case, I'm mean. They chose to move there, knowing that this scenario was and is a possibility. I think that they should have to put up with whatever works best for everyone, not just them.
I don't think you have any obligation to introduce your kids to the religion etc of your childhood, but I think lots of people do it because they think it will be good for the child.
I think you are responsible to give your children the best leg-up in the world that you can. If you feel that paying for education is the best way to do that (and can afford to), go for it. If you think having them be responsible for paying for their own education to instill certain values is the best way forward, go for that.
We have every intention of saving for our child(ren)'s education, but also the intent to instill in them the need for them to save as well. Maybe we'll give only a certain amount a year. Or maybe we'll cover rent and tuition and things like books and hydro will be up to them. Whatever plan we come up with, it'll be intended to raise financially-savvy kids who aren't saddled with a ton of debt right out of the gate.
Maybe just a smidge of it so they can feel good about getting rid of it, though.
I'm thinking if they want a car, they can work for it. But maybe I'm just reflecting what I was told when I wanted one as a teenager.
As for the religion question, let's just say I'm expecting at least one knock-down, drag-out fight (figuratively, of course...at least, I hope so) with my mother when the subject comes up. I suspect that the neighbours may set up lawn chairs and make popcorn for the show.
I'm in my early 20s and I think my generation is a lot less tied to tradition than previous generations. Whereas older individuals do things because that's how things are done, my generation asks why? and when we don't find a suitable answer, we do our own thing.